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The snotty answer


My desk at work is the first desk anyone coming into the office sees. I find this placement a bit tragic, as I'm probably the least personable person in the office.

When the front door opens, I can turn to see who is coming in the door, and greet him as needed. It's a double edged sword: I can greet him immediately, but I'm also the one accosted with solicitors.

The REALLY loud neighbor next door recently moved out. When they did, Doyle snagged their NO SOLICITORS sign and put it outside our door. I don't know if the drop in door-to-door solicitors is because of this sign or just a natural lull in random people who love smack-downs knocking on our door.

Today, however, is an exception to the blissful break in obnoxious people forcing us to be obnoxious back when the word "No" doesn't cause them to back down.

With no knock on a door, a man in his mid-twenties came into the office today, carrying a small box and an overly enthusiastic smile. With too much on my task list today, I immediately said, "No solicitors."

His response?

"I'm not soliciting, but thanks for assuming that, ma'am."

Without missing a beat, I responded, "Okay, what's up?"

"We're taking a survey."

Because barging into my office, occupying my time, and asking for my information and knowledge without really asking me for permission isn't any more of an imposition than trying to sell me something, right?

"That's just as bad as soliciting. No, thank you."

To his credit, he did leave immediately.

I looked over at Doyle, as my gaze was returning to my monitor, a look of incredible disbelief on his face.

"I'd think if I really wanted you to take my survey, I wouldn't give you a snotty answer to a soliciting question."

Yeah. You'd think.