Interesting trip to 31

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Since becoming the one armed bandit this morning, I'm not supposed to move around much today. Not moving, having a two inch wound in my shoulder, not being able to lift my left arm, and general annoyance with life in general all cause me to want comfort food.

And what's better than a chocolate shake for comfort food?

I debated where to go for a chocolate milk shake. The least expensive was, of course, to buy a pint of ice cream from the store and make my own. That would, unfortunately, also require being able to scoop said ice cream out of the container, which I'm not able to do at the moment. So, next option?

Cold Stone Cremery was, of course, an appealing option. Kris really likes Baskin Robbins, so I decided there was fine, and drove, one handed (no small feat with a manual transmission car), to the nearest Baskin Robbins.

While waiting for the woman behind the counter to serve the guy in front of me, I looked around, and noticed a Copyright sign on the wall.

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It read:

NOTICE

It is a violation of Federal Copyright Law to copy, draw, outline or reproduce in any manner an identical reproduction or close likeness of any copyrighted material. This includes any trademarked, registered or copyrighted material in cartoons, magazines, television, movies, greeting cards an various other media.

Copyright infringement can incur severe penalties.

NOTICE

Interesting in what it says, because it's wrong. It's a bold faced lie. I most certainly may, without permission, copy a copyrighted piece if I am using it to teach. I can also render a likeness of copyrighted material in a satirical reflection of the material. Oh, and I can also use the copyrighted material to criticize it.

I have to admit at that moment, I was overcome with a very strong urge to take a photo of the 31 logo, JUST to copy it as my new company logo. Wouldn't that be fun?

Anyway, after stewing for a moment, the women behind the counter was able to help me. I ordered a chocolate milk shake, yes, with regular chocolate ice cream, no, not with the fancy chocolate ice creams with fudge or chips or caramel swirls, just chocolate ice cream, please.

I, of course, then made the mistake of looking down and, shock, seeing WORDS! Words, words, WORDS! That means, "READ ME!" in Kitt-speak. The first sentence of the ingredient posting had me laughing.

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It read:

We have posted the top eight ingredients (if any) in the products which are mostly likely to cause an allergic reaction in certain people.

"We have posted the top eight ingredients (if any)," indeed! Hi, lady behind the counter, I'd like to change my order to use the chocolate ice cream that doesn't have any ingredients in it. I'm trying to watch my figure, don't you know.

Of course, Baskin Robbins didn't bother to post the ingredients for the products that AREN'T most likely to cause an allergic reation, according to the way the sentence is structured.

And, hey, Baskin Robbins doesn't REALLY care about you. It cares for only CERTAIN people.

Whoever wrote that first sentence would totally have failed my English grammar class (and yes, I used to grade other students' grammar papers when I was in high school - the teacher thought I was a too harsh grader).

Unfortunately, I spent too much time entertained by the sign to stop the, I was begining to realize, retarded woman behind the counter. She, for reasons incomprehensible to me, thought that "chocolate milk shake" meant "chocolate milk" and blended my shake into oblivion. I had to tell her to stop before she actually stopped the blender, and that only after I told her, "If I wanted a chocolate milk, I would have ordered a chocolate milk. I want texture in my milk shake." I didn't manage to stop her in time, and ended up with one of the seven worst chocolate milk shakes ever made.

Of course, discovering the Baskin Robbins plastic straws were sealed in EVEN MORE PLASTIC didn't help either.

Next time, I'm driving to Cold Stone, knife wound or not.

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