Yelp Reviews are Pretty Much Worthless


So, years ago, Katie threw a baby shower for Heather. She planned for all of us to head up to the City for tea and pastries at a tea shop in Ghirardelli Square. Katie, being the aware person she is, also arranged for all of us to head up to the City from our South Bay locations in a limo. The drive up was fun, and none of us needed to worry about parking, which was a really good thing. We were heading up to the City during Fleet Week. There was no parking in the area to be had.

We all arrived nominally on time in the limo, which dropped us off and went away for a couple hours. We went to the tea shop and had a delightful time. We had tea. We had sandwiches. We had laughs. We had a wonderful time.

The tea shop operated in such a way that large groups needed to have reservations. Each was about an hour long. Around 85% minutes into our reservation, the other large-party reservation showed up. They were dressed nicely, but clearly stressed. Their tea reservation ended when ours did, so they had 10, maybe 20 minutes, to enjoy the same experience we just had in 45, maybe 60 minutes. They hurriedly sat down, and the staff did their best to accommodate the late-comers. They served the sandwiches prepared, along with the tea. When our time was up, we all gathered, and left. The other party presumably left around the same time.

A couple weeks later, I went to look up the Yelp review of the tea shop. The latest review was from the organizer of the late group that had been at the tea shop when we had been there. It was an incredibly negative review. I wish I could find it. The tea shop has since moved, and the reviews have disappeared for the old location. Essentially her review went like this, "There was no parking. We were rushed. The sandwiches were dry. The employees rudely asked us to leave." Looking at it, I kept thinking, "YOU didn't plan accordingly and realize there wouldn't be parking during Fleet Week. That's on you. YOU arrived INCREDIBLY late for a specific reservation, and were accommodated, but still complained you were rushed. YOU arrived after the sandwiches prepared for you an hour before, then complain they had an hour to dry out. YOU were loud and complaining, but thought the employees were rude because they asked you to honor the reservation you made, because OTHERS were following you." The whole review annoyed me. The woman had a bad experience because she didn't plan well, and the business, which attempted to serve her group anyway, gets the shaft with a poor review.

Imagine showing up for an hour massage 50 minutes into your hour slot, then complaining you didn't get a full hour massage (not that hour massages are actually an hour long, but that's beside the point I'm stating here).

At this point, I have to say, Yelp reviews are nominally worthless. If I hadn't been there and seen this woman's behaviour, I'd think the tea shop sucked. Instead it was delightful and I am thankful for the experience, and to Katie for organizing it so well!

Today, I was shown an ad. I'm doing fairly well at playing Whack-a-Mole with ads, and usually don't notice where they are from. Today I noticed, marked it as "not relevant," and went to look it up elsewhere. It wasn't a hardware store, as I thought it might be. It was an apartment complex. Okay, fine.

The second review caught my eye. A two star review reads:

I am not getting a good vibe about this place, are you? I'm truly disappointed. But I've changed my mind about living there and I haven't even seen the place in person yet. I base my decision on reviews that can be seen here.

Okay, you've NEVER SEEN THE PLACE. You don't live there. You have never lived there. YOU HAVE NO REASON OR AUTHORITY TO REVIEW THE APARTMENTS.

What the F---, people.

If you have nothing to say, SHUT THE FUCK UP. Being quiet is okay. You don't need to say, "Hey, I have an opinion!" when you fucking don't have an opinion.

Yelp should delete that review out of hand. The whole site should be deleted. Worthless.

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