The Song of Achilles

Book Notes

Again, I don't know why this book was on my reading list, or what motivated me to put it in my library request queue, but I'm glad I did. It is a well written, hauntingly beautiful retelling of the Achilles story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

With this book, I made the mistake of waiting until the last possible moment to start reading it. Most books take me three days to find enough time among Life™ to finish a book, at most a week. This book read slowly, so it took me the full three days to read, when I expected it to take me a day (which is about 4 hours of actual reading time, tops).

When I started reading, however, I didn't want to go my usual pace. I slowed down, because I wanted this book to move slowly. I wanted to be in the beauty of story-telling, to allow the story to unravel at its pace not mine. I stopped many times to look up characters, discover their story, learn a little more about Greek mythology.

Once I slowed down (threw my reading schedule out the window, actually), I really enjoyed this book. I strongly recommend it.

A hundred servants work for twenty days beating out the racing track and clearing it of stones. My father is determined to have the finest games of his generation.
Page 2

Our ragged alliances prevailed only when no man was allowed to be too much more powerful than another.
Page 13

“Yet other boys will be envious that you have chosen such a one. What will you tell them?”

“I will tell them nothing.” The answer came with no hesitation, clear and crisp. “It is not for them to say what I will do.”
Page 37

I stopped watching for ridicule, the scorpion’s tail hidden in his words. He said what he meant; he was puzzled if you did not.
Page 44

I can smell him. The oils that he uses on his feet, pomegranate and sandalwood; the salt of clean sweat; the hyacinths we had walked through, their scent crushed against our ankles.
Page 63

Thetis sees many faults, some that are and some that are not.”
Page 80

The beginning of our studies, if it is possible to call them that. For Chiron liked to teach, not in set lessons, but in opportunities.
Page 82

“There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles,” Chiron said. “And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?”
Page 84

“What will you answer?”

“I do not know,” Achilles said.

“That is an answer for now. It will not be good enough later,” Chiron said.
Page 90

Had she really thought I would not know him? I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.
Page 134

She did not know that I almost asked him, a hundred times, to be a little kinder to her. You do not have to humiliate her so thoroughly, I thought. But it was not kindness he lacked; it was interest. His gaze passed over her as if she were not there.
Page 140

“The sons of Troy are known for their skill in battle, and their deaths will lift your name to the stars. If you miss it, you will miss your chance at immortality. You will stay behind, unknown. You will grow old, and older in obscurity.”
Page 164

And here we have the motivation in meaning. All of life is fleeting. Very, very, very few people are remembered even mere decades after their deaths. Immortality in the form of a song, a story? It will still die.

“I do not think I could bear it,” he said, at last. His eyes were closed, as if against horrors. I knew he spoke not of his death, but of the nightmare Odysseus had spun, the loss of his brilliance, the withering of his grace. I had seen the joy he took in his own skill, the roaring vitality that was always just beneath the surface. Who was he if not miraculous and radiant? Who was he if not destined for fame?
Page 167

The never-ending ache of love and sorrow. Perhaps in some other life I could have refused, could have torn my hair and screamed, and made him face his choice alone. But not in this one. He would sail to Troy and I would follow, even into death.
Page 168

Even into death.

“It’s not true,” I said. The blood in my face fired my voice. It rang loudly down the beach. Odysseus raised an eyebrow.

“True is what men believe, and they believe this of you. But perhaps they are mistaken."
Page 175

I watched them marching, rank on cheerful rank. I saw them dreaming of the plunder they would bring home, and the triumph. There was no such dream for us.
Page 187

"You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature.”
Page 207

If there was a rebellion against his authority, now would be the time. The very thought of it seemed to anger him, and his voice grew rougher. This was a frequent fault of his: the more precarious his position, the more unlikable he became.
Page 219

Our world was one of blood, and the honor it won; only cowards did not fight. For a prince there was no choice. You warred and won, or warred and died.
Page 220

Chiron had said once that nations were the most foolish of mortal inventions. “No man is worth more than another, wherever he is from.”

“But what if he is your friend?” Achilles had asked him, feet kicked up on the wall of the rose-quartz cave. “Or your brother? Should you treat him the same as a stranger?”

“You ask a question that philosophers argue over,” Chiron had said. “He is worth more to you, perhaps. But the stranger is someone else’s friend and brother. So which life is more important?”
Page 299

Priam’s voice is gentle. “It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after.”
Page 350

She wears a cape, and it is this that undoes her—that allows her to be pulled, limbs light and poised as a cat, from her horse.
Page 351

"No capes!"

The Salt Line

Book Notes

Do not know why this made it onto my book reading list. Likely from some BookRiot post, if I had to guess. It dropped from the library, so I read it. And enjoyed it.

A large number of other book reviews (which I read when I was trying to figure out why I added the book to my reading list) commented that the ending was weak, which I don't agree with. The ending wasn't a large, hugely climatic, GOOD VERSUS EVIL ending, not at all. It was, honestly, what I would classify as a Life™ ending. Nothing huge, some parts good, some parts bad, all parts uncertain. I'm less interested these days in a nice, happy-ending, all-the-loose-ends-tied-up-with-a-bow type endings anyway. I was satisfied with the ending.

THAT all said, ugh, do I have a mid-book comment (with a slight spoiler, so ignore if you don't want that spoiler):

"Okay, so, you kidnap 10 people, kill one, then death-march the remaining 9, and are SURPRISED when one kills two of your own when escaping your captivity? Really? Really? #whowritesthiscrap?"

The writing / dialog along that part of the story was weird.

I enjoyed the book.

Edie, of course, was practically invisible among these people who saw their financial bounty as proof of their superior intellects and talents.
Page 13

Now her scalp was bristled with fine hairs, and she couldn’t stop running her hands across it, listening to the rasp against her dry palms.
Page 24

Love freshly shorn scalps!

He watched his mother and father carefully, listening to their desires and complaints, noting that so much of what seemed to aggrieve them in life was tied to money: how there was never enough of it to live as they wished, and how the culture of its use was abstract and unspoken, with rules that everyone was expected to follow without ever having been taught them.
Page 54

“It’s not right,” Mickey said. His face shined with tears. “You pay as much I did, you expect some things.”
Page 107

Why, instead of screwing around with the idea of virtues, hadn’t he been coming up with ways to let money do what it does best: create power? The key was to find the right vessel for that power. That was capitalism at work.
Page 109

What a pleasure, a luxury, to be carried to bed by someone you loved and trusted, someone with the physical power to move you gently and tenderly, to slide you between cool covers at the exact moment you slid back down into sleep.
Page 124

Even after you’ve heard Violet’s story, there’s a look in your eyes. I know it well. And all I can say to it is that what you want to hate about her—her ugliness and her meanness—you created. Yes, each of you. You’re complicit in the acts of evil that made her who she is. You’re complicit because you’ve let yourself be comforted by lies. You’re complicit because all of those comforts you have in-zone come at a price, and Violet is one of many of us who’ve paid the bill.
Page 177

Okay, this idea of original sin has always annoyed me. How can I be responsible for something when I wasn't even alive when it happened?

There's no f'ing way someone is complicit in these "acts of evil" if they didn't know, and had no way of knowing. You can't blame a person for ignorance, they don't know any better.

Willful ignorance, however, that's a different matter entirely. Blame all you want on those.

“Or maybe they’re driven by their ideals,” Edie said, thinking about June’s story. Thinking about Violet.

“That might be worse, honestly,” Wes said. “Ideals make people stupid. Believe me, I know.”
Page 186

But every so often, for weeks, months at a time, his dissatisfactions coalesced into an impenetrable fog, so that even his anger seemed pointless and small. These fogs had happened enough times that he recognized, from somewhere outside himself, the pattern. He could, for a while, tell himself: This will pass. This isn’t you. This is some stew of chemicals and hormones in your brain, translating stimulus into despair, and if you take these meds or do this exercise or spend this amount of time a day out in the sunshine, the recipe will change, and you’ll see clearly again. Wait for it. Just a little longer.
Page 214

“Far from it,” said Hakim. “What I’m asking of you is scarier. It would require you to live your life.”
Page 221

“I don’t think there’s any nobility in misery,” Hakim said. “There’s certainly no nobility in suicide. I was once like you. I saw the world and grieved. I didn’t see any reason for it. For existing. So much pain and so little point. Yet I had a life! This was a fact. It would one day end. This was also a fact. And I could end it whenever I wished. This was my reassurance. ‘I can always end it tomorrow,’ I told myself. And then I discovered something.”

"There was a large garden on the premises and helping with it gave me something to do. When I despaired, I weeded. I lost myself in the physical process, the repetition. I pulled and pulled, and one day I pulled myself out of my sadness.”
Page 222

Beth had been intrigued by his distance, he knew. More certain she wanted him because she was less certain she was wanted.
Page 227

Or the job she quit, because she thought she hated it, and she no longer needed it, only to discover that hate is relative—that when you have no money of your own, no outside force shaping your days, you might long for even some low-wage drudgery?
Page 235

The abortion wasn’t the great loss of her life, but it would probably always be the greatest mystery.
Page 235

Like many people who derive their sense of goodness from their religious affiliation rather than their actions, Teddy was able to soothe himself with the belief that this was part of God’s plan, and if the child were meant to survive, God would protect her.
Page 281

"Do you want kids?” “No,” Edie said. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I don’t.”

“Well, you’re young yet. You may change your mind.”

“Women your age always say that.”

Marta laughed.
Page 352

Wes felt the moment coming when he’d have to do the decent thing again, the thing he could live with, even if it meant not living.
Page 347

Edie wouldn’t miss Andy, Berto, Ken. But she could put her arms around each of them, feel their hearts thudding against her own—proof that they all lived, still. Was that the point of a hug? Two human hearts thudding together, testifying?
Page 375

This is What Financial Freedom Looks Like

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From His Eyes

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There are times when I see myself as Jonathan sees me, and I think that maybe, just maybe, I'm doing okay after all.

This was one of those moments.

Logbook

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Yesterday I learned that I don't keep a journal, certainly not a diary. I keep a logbook.

I'll keep calling it a journal, though.

Isn't it just the ugliest thing? And, yet, it's great for me.

I used to carry around one notebook for work, as work owned the data in the notebook, they paid for that intellectual effort, and I didn't want my personal notes going into the work archive.

I'd carry around another notebook for ideas, where I'd write down 10 of X, where X was chapters of books I'd like to write (or at least see in existence), ideas for Scalzi story plots, ideas of things I'd like to see exist, or some other 10 of X whatever.

I'd also carry around the notebook that listed the tasks I wanted to do that day. I'd generate a new list every morning of the 6 hours of planned items I wanted to do that day, knowing that planning for six hours means ten hours of actual work. I'd cross off, carry over, remove items from that list. Finishing that giant list of things at the end of one of those notebooks was soooo satisfying.

And then there was the logbook I'd carry around, keeping notes of things I did, people I talked with, ideas I had, essentially a commonplace book.

At some point fairly recently, I decided carrying around four (actually more, but let's ignore those few others) notebooks was excessive. No, let's be real here, it wasn't a decision per se. In reality, I realized all these notebooks wouldn't all fit into my new, smaller backpack. So, I merged all of the books into one, except the work notebook. That will always be separate.

So, now I have one giant book with the major things I've done during the day, my Stoic reflections, my daily to-do list, my daily schedule for the day, my 10 of X idea list, my weekly incremental task list movement towards my life goals, my life goals, all that stuff.

This book is completely useless to anyone but me, and that is just fine.

It works for me.

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