"Why are you doing this to us?"

I have a tenant who actually asked me this today. I'm a little dumbfounded on the question, but feel it perfectly illustrates the source of my frustration with the people involved.

A little background?

Having been out for nearly two weeks, I returned home to find that these tenants hadn't send me a rent check. I waited a few days, figuring, hey, I'd be nice, I'd wait a few days, see if it showed up (You know, nice doesn't cut it in business. It really doesn't. There are reasons for contracts, and a reason for the saying "Nice guys finish last.").

When it didn't arrive by the sixth, I sent an email letting the tenants it hadn't been received, asking them to tell me when I should expect it to arrive.

The first sentence of the response of the email was "Rent hasn't been sent."

Hadn't been sent.

It was six days late and it hadn't been sent. AT ALL.

Emails flying back and forth, mine being succinct, their responses being lengthy diatribes that would cause even the most hardened property manager's eyes to flare in fury until he realized the source, at which point his eyes would merely glaze over.

One line, however caught my eye, the one above. "Why are you doing this to us?"

The "this" part? Asking that rent be paid not only on time, but in full.

Apparently asking them to do so constitutes a personal affront, according to the rest of the email surrounding the question "Why are you doing this to us?"

Who knew?

The question remarkably illustrates the victim mentality that is so prevalent in our society today. Those who succeed in life, as near as I can tell, are those who have managed to escape this victim mentality, to escape the belief that things "happen" to them, rather than "there are consequences to your actions, including positive ones that you can make happen."

This particular tenant is one who blames his wife for any mistake he does ("Oh, she must have put that receipt in the wrong pile, so I overcharged you by $150." "Oh, she left my phone uncharged, so I didn't get your call.") , so I don't know that I should surprised at fact that nothing is ever his fault. She must think the same to have asked me, "Why are you doing this to us?"

I can even hear the whine.

"WhyyyyyYYYYyy are you dooooooooOOOOooooing this toooOOOOoo us?"

Years ago, I had Bob Diller sit me down and talk to me about this very thing. He asked me why I believed things just happened to me. His words forced me to recognize the victim state I had adopted, and change away from it. Guy's and Kris' attitudes about personal responsibility, as well as the recognition of the true nature of cause and effect have on my life, have helped me more than any self-help book or personal reflection could. No, I can't control everything in my life (if I could, how dull would this life be?), but there ARE consequences to my choices, and I take full responsibility for those caused by my choices.

Including this <whine>"Why are you doing this to us?"</whine> stress effect of the last few days.

This is the consequence of going against my gut instinct, the stomach turns, and Mother's angry directive, "Do. not. do. this," and renting my house out to tenants who are users, who believe that simply by their existing, the world owes them.

Fewer than ten months left in that lease. I am counting down the days.

And learning to trust my gut more.

Communal dinner is always the best for entertainment. Take tonight's adventure: how to cut a Tyler in two. Shove him through a guillotine and drop the blade, er, doggie door.

Before:

After:

1. You never have a bad hair day
2. The savings on shampoo!
3. No need to bring out the hairdryer
4. Navy SEALs salute you.
5. Everyone calls you sir!
6. Your head feels really cool when you rub it
7. Opportunities to explore self confidence issues
8. Trichotillomania attacks have no effect.
9. Daycare reports about head lice don't faze you.
10. Because everyone should once in her life because she chooses to, not because life forces her to.
11. The wind feels different.
12. No hair makes your eyes look bigger.
13. Rides in convertibles don't require hats or scarves.
14. No hair clots in the drain!

Having spent weeks talking about it, I decided to just do it instead of thinking about it. Feels so good.

I'm sitting here at the dining room table, with Obama's birthday speech on the television behind me. In the office, Kris is practicing guitar. A few moments ago, the alarm in the bedroom went off, letting us know it was time to get off.

Much different than the river's sounds.

Well, finally arrived home this evening and started looking through our mail. The usual 10 times more junk mail than "real" mail. Of course, that "real" mail is about 95% bills, so I'm so sure about how much of this mail I'd like to actually receive. No, I take that back, I know exactly how much of this mail I'd like to receive, and it's none.

One of the surprises in the mail was a big box. I didn't recognize the return address, but it was addressed to me, instead of Kris, so I opened it.

Oh, look. My new hiking shoes.

Turns out, the shoes I went down to the Grand Canyon in, the ones I tripped twice in hiking down the Bright Angel train in, the ones that Sam said were much too slippery to be useful when hiking or scrambling over wet stones, the ones that I regretted bringing, weren't even the ones I intended to bring down in the first place.

I HAD bought a pair of low hiking shoes. The trail running shoes I bought and took down were for trail running. Somehow in the whirlwind before I left, I had forgotten which shoes I had ordered for which purpose.

I guess it's time to go hiking on some trails to break these new shoes in. Wish they had arrived BEFORE I left for the Canyon.