Welcome home

Sorta.

US Customs at the Vancouver YVR airport is somewhat automated. In particular, you use a kiosk, scan your passport, take a picture of yourself, and answer the usual questions of "Were you on a farm?" and "Are you carrying food?" and "Do you have more than the allowed duty amount?" and "Are you carrying more than $10,000?" There are five questions (clearly I don't recall one of them), with a button that says "Answer No to all questions." at the top.

If you have never used one of these kiosks, say, as I had never done so, you might actually want to fill out the questions one at a time so that you can read them.

Strike one against you. You are more likely to be pulled aside now for additional questioning.

If you answer the questions out of order, strike two against you. You are more likely to be pulled aside now for additional questioning.

If you hesitate in answering a question, strike three, your receipt will have a giant X on it, and you will be pulled aside for additional questioning.

In my case, I had a banana in my bag. Rather than throwing it away entirely, I stepped aside with my giant X on my receipt, ate the banana, then went back into line for additional questioning. The customs dude wanted to know what food I have ("None."), what food did I have ("a banana"), and if I consumed it ("yes").

"Welcome home."