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Lifetime Being Frail Versus Growing Old

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These past couple weeks have seen some wonderful highs and couple incredible lows for me. Some moments have been stunningly terrible, full of enough pain that I just curled into a ball to cry until I couldn't move. These moments happen in most people's lives, even if we, as a society, don't talk about them.

The older I get, the more I'm aware how fleeting the moments of joy are. The flip side of that fleeting joy is the knowledge that these times of pain will also be short-lived in the grand scheme of the universe, even if they remain a lifetime for the individual.

While curled in my ball, I wondered which would be worse, spending a lifetime being frail versus just growing old. Think about it: if you live a life where you aren't strong, don't take your health for granted, are always cautious, and know every pain in your body, then perhaps growing old isn't as scary as being vibrant, healthy, carefree, and oblivious until, well, you aren't. If you have good health and lose it, is that worse than never having it at all? We know about love and better to have loved and all, but what about never missing what you never had? If you didn't have it (and I don't mean didn't try to have it, just never had it), would that really be better than having it and losing it?

We, as a species, hate losing things more than we love gaining things. So, really, would it be better to spend a lifetime being frail and never having the strength?

Unsure.

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