About that 3rd bag

Open letter to the woman who I met on the jetway this morning (yes, you who glared at me, and muttered to your friend, "The carry-on baggage limit is two, not three."):

Hi!

I heard you this morning muttering under your breath about my three carry-on bags. I would like to state the apparently not-so-obvious about the situation:

1. When you speak at conversation level on a jetway, you're probably yelling.
2. The combined weight of me and my three bags is probably less than your weight alone. That's saying something, too, because I pack my backpack heavy.
3. I assure you, the combined volume of me and my three bags is less than the volume of your person alone.
4. Only you complained about my bags. The ticket agent didn't. Security didn't. The gate ticket agent didn't. The flight attendant didn't. Just you.
5. If you had sat in the same row as I, I would have had to put my bag on you, because my laptop is so big, it needs its own seat.
6. The contents of bag 2 fit easily into bag 3. However, carrying half on each side is easier on the back. You might have realized this if you hadn't made your companion carry all of your stuff.

So, next time, please mutter directly to me, so that I can let you know I really don't give a flying rats ass (or mallard duck, as the case may be) about your obsession with my luggage.

Thanks for listening, lady.

• Log in to read full content