For everyone else

I'm frustrated. I know I'm frustrated because I can't play ultimate because, once again, I'm injured. Once again, I'm betrayed by my body and unable to play, despite being determined to play, despite eating right, working out regularly. What is it with my life that I managed to conspire with the fates to be completely and utterly, totally stressed three weeks before the start of the fall series begins, virtually guaranteeing both a run-on sentence and injury.

Maybe I don't really want to be playing? I don't know. It's annoying.

What's more annoying, though, is the realizing that I spend more of my life doing for other people than for myself. Like, on the order of 70% for everyone else, and 30% for me, with 95% of that "for me" including sleep and eating and nothing else. The first thing to go when my life fills up is exercise, when that should be the last thing to go.

That "for everyone else" is starting to take its toll. Things I used to offer willingly, I'm reluctant to offer at all. Tasks I used to do without asking are now assumed to be my tasks and feel like instead of offering, everyone is demanding.