Why are you doing this to us?

"Why are you doing this to us?"

I have a tenant who actually asked me this today. I'm a little dumbfounded on the question, but feel it perfectly illustrates the source of my frustration with the people involved.

A little background?

Having been out for nearly two weeks, I returned home to find that these tenants hadn't send me a rent check. I waited a few days, figuring, hey, I'd be nice, I'd wait a few days, see if it showed up (You know, nice doesn't cut it in business. It really doesn't. There are reasons for contracts, and a reason for the saying "Nice guys finish last.").

When it didn't arrive by the sixth, I sent an email letting the tenants it hadn't been received, asking them to tell me when I should expect it to arrive.

The first sentence of the response of the email was "Rent hasn't been sent."

Hadn't been sent.

It was six days late and it hadn't been sent. AT ALL.

Emails flying back and forth, mine being succinct, their responses being lengthy diatribes that would cause even the most hardened property manager's eyes to flare in fury until he realized the source, at which point his eyes would merely glaze over.

One line, however caught my eye, the one above. "Why are you doing this to us?"

The "this" part? Asking that rent be paid not only on time, but in full.

Apparently asking them to do so constitutes a personal affront, according to the rest of the email surrounding the question "Why are you doing this to us?"

Who knew?

The question remarkably illustrates the victim mentality that is so prevalent in our society today. Those who succeed in life, as near as I can tell, are those who have managed to escape this victim mentality, to escape the belief that things "happen" to them, rather than "there are consequences to your actions, including positive ones that you can make happen."

This particular tenant is one who blames his wife for any mistake he does ("Oh, she must have put that receipt in the wrong pile, so I overcharged you by $150." "Oh, she left my phone uncharged, so I didn't get your call.") , so I don't know that I should surprised at fact that nothing is ever his fault. She must think the same to have asked me, "Why are you doing this to us?"

I can even hear the whine.

"WhyyyyyYYYYyy are you dooooooooOOOOooooing this toooOOOOoo us?"

Years ago, I had Bob Diller sit me down and talk to me about this very thing. He asked me why I believed things just happened to me. His words forced me to recognize the victim state I had adopted, and change away from it. Guy's and Kris' attitudes about personal responsibility, as well as the recognition of the true nature of cause and effect have on my life, have helped me more than any self-help book or personal reflection could. No, I can't control everything in my life (if I could, how dull would this life be?), but there ARE consequences to my choices, and I take full responsibility for those caused by my choices.

Including this <whine>"Why are you doing this to us?"</whine> stress effect of the last few days.

This is the consequence of going against my gut instinct, the stomach turns, and Mother's angry directive, "Do. not. do. this," and renting my house out to tenants who are users, who believe that simply by their existing, the world owes them.

Fewer than ten months left in that lease. I am counting down the days.

And learning to trust my gut more.