I spent money today.

I spent money today, and now I feel guilty about spending the money.

For the last I don't know how many years, significantly before this particular economic downturn, I've been fairly good about not spending money friviously. I don't chase fashion: my clothes are well fitting, non-descript, able to work for business and casual, with a few items for formal events.

I drive my cars into the ground, selling my first car only after it had 220,000 miles on it and had been loaned to a friend for six months.

My travelling expenses are nearly all work related, or tax deductible in some way.

No, I pretty much just mindlessly spend on books and food and personal consumable items such as soap and toilet paper and that's it. If it's going to take up space in my already cluttered house, I'm not likely to buy it.

Except that I didn't resist today. Today, I spent money on something I wanted. Not something I NEEDED, but something I wanted.

I have to say that the I'm not sure that the feelings of guilt from making this purchase are going to override the feelings of joy I'll receive when the purchase arrives at my doorstep. I'm old enough to know the difference between NEEDING something and WANTING something. I'm not depressed enough to think a physical item is going to make me happy for more than a fleeting moment.

I do hope, however that these feelings of guilt go away. Because as bad as they are at the moment, I'm still not returning my purchase.

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