Among the things I find frustrating you'll find "neighbors butchering trees."

This is the same neighbor who knocked down our fence and shoved dog poop in my face (different times) is butchering his trees today. It's frustrating and annoying and I wish he would stop.

A few years ago, when Sam was visiting me for the week, I didn't have any plans for his visit. I, unfortunately, didn't take any time off from work either, and ended up plunking the kid down in front of the television for far more time than I was comfortable with, though Sam didn't really mind.

When we went back to Mom's place for the big drop-off, Sam declared to everyone, "And she let me watch TV ALL WEEK." I was so embarrassed as to be mortified, not only had I done this, but that Sam had told everyone. Eric turned to me and said, "Well, that sounds like a real world example of parenting to me."

Since then, I've learned to plan things out better with Sam's and Jackson's visits. I sent Sam to Camp Galileo last year at the Tech Museum. He seemed to have a good time, so I signed Jackson up for a similar camp this year. Jackson and I were originally going to head up to Canada and meet up with Jonathan and one of his boys, but I couldn't find enough weekday activities to keep him busy, so Jackson and I will be heading up to Vancouver this December or next January for some snowboarding adventure. I'm tickled that Chris is going to let me take him out of school for a week to go goof off on a mountain. How cool is that?

About as cool as summer camp!

I hadn't read the camp instructions properly, and didn't realize I'd need to pack lunch for Jackson (Sam's program last year had lunch included), so a morning scramble later, and Jackson had something that could pass as a lunch. Maybe.

Yeah, this parenting thing sometimes entails sacrifices, including those of being a perfect parent. He'd have enough food to last until I picked him up, my job was done.

Starting last night at the airport, I've been having Jackson navigate us. I had asked him to guide us to the gate (we took a few wrong turns before he figured out that gate C16 was in a different wing than gates C1 to C10, but he managed to navigate us to the gate with plenty of time to spare), and then to the baggage claim after we arrived.

This morning, I asked him which table we would check into this morning. I have no idea if he appreciates the "extra" work I have him do, but I'd rather he figure out how to get around and learn to be more observant than to have him lost and wandering.

He did just fine.

After checking in, Jackson wandered over to the introduction group, dropped off his lunch bucket (yeah, every other kid had a backpack, he had a small cooler, nothing like making a kid stand out on day one), and was told to join in one of the many games happening on the playground.

I asked if he was good, he said yes, and so I wandered off, letting him go do his own thing.

It was hard.

It was so hard.

He just sorta wandered around, watching the other kids play various games.

It was just heartbreaking to watch.

There are skills you learn as you grow up, and worries that you discard. The ability to go up to anyone and just start talking to them one of those skills you learn as you grow up if you aren't naturally charismatic. If you are, it's a skill that improves with use. It helps to discard the worries about what other people think about you, since most people have no opinion of you before they know you.

Eventually the camp started and everyone gathered, and Jackson merged into the crowd.

I wandered away, hoping his day would be a great one, thinking, this parenting thing is heart-wrenching. Not sure I'd ever get used to this feeling.

We went to Starbucks for breakfast this morning, my place having a dearth of cereal or other food at the moment.

"Let me know what you want for breakfast."

He looks.

"Can I have the brownie?" he asks.

"This will either make me the best or the worst aunt ever."

"Yep."

He had the brownie for breakfast.

So, the first lesson Jackson has learned about what this week could hold, and it might just become the most frustrating for him.

While I'm a big fan of learning and teaching,, I'm not a big fan of just answering questions if I can lead someone to the answer or if someone could figure out the answer with a little effort. That whole being resourceful thing that Kris espouses so much.

I know that I was always frustrated when Dad said, "Look it up!" after I asked him a question, but, yeah, I learned better because of his approach (though, in retrospect, he may have said that because he didn't know the answer).

So, when he asked, "Are those live fish?" when we were still at the airport, I said, "Let's look."

I hope he doesn't become frustrated with my teaching methods, though, if he ends up becoming more resourceful, his frustration will be worth it in my mind.

In the meantime, first lesson of "let's try it!" learned.

On the way home from TXJS, I stopped on the way through Phoenix. I do that a lot, but this time wasn't to visit Mom, it was to pick up Jackson!

Some time between last year and about three months ago, Jackson asked why Sam keeps heading out to visit me each summer and he doesn't visit me. It's interesting that was how it worked out, though. I didn't know that Jackson wanted to come out, and was just sorta going along with the flow and planning for Sam. It's kinda fun that Jackson wanted to come out, I haven't really spent time with him, don't really know him except as Sam's little brother.

We expect this to change.

I started early with the Awesome Auntie Kitt routine: when I had supper, Jackson had chocolate ice cream. If he hadn't already eaten, I might have chose differently for him, but, well, he had, so he chose.

I hadn't expected Jackson to show up with blonde hair. He had bleached it blonde a while ago, then colored it blue. Unfortunately, he hadn't really recalled that yellow plus blue means green so he really had green hair and not the blue he originally wanted. I suspect, however, that he'll keep trying until he managed the *shocking* blue that he was trying for.

I have to say that the yellow hair has thrown me off. By going blonde, he looks a lot like Sam, and I've called him Sam a couple times already (much more to my chagrin than his, I suspect).

With this conversation, though, he claimed his own spot as a clearly distinctive person in my mind:

Him: "Have you ever heard of the show called 'Days of our Lives'?"

Me: "It's a soap opera, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you watch it?"

"Yes, I watch every episode."

*blink*

*blink* *blink*

Yes, a clearly different person.

And yes, this week is clearly going to be fun.