Look! No light

Okay, kids, a house without lights on, without any even remotely inviting exterior, with a locked front door and two barking dogs means THERE IS NO CANDY HERE.

Don't come to the door.

Don't ring the doorbell.

Don't pound on the door.

I'm not going to answer, and if I do answer, I'm not going to have any candy to give you. See that? That's a DARK front porch. Go AWAY.

Are you deaf? Okay, fine, here, have some candy that I just bought because I knew you would ignore the dark driveway and uninviting door. I didn't want it anyway.

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