Always Learning These Days

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Field of Flowers

There is something comforting about being an expert on a topic (as long as said topic is not yourself, and even then I would suggest very few of us are actually experts on ourselves).

You have put in all of this time and effort and you know things. You don't have to look up information. You don't have to figure out how to do something. You don't struggle with the example you're looking at, pulling out your hair, only to discover four hours later that the example for the software library you're using was written for two versions back and won't work for the versions you're using now. You don't have to ask for help, because you are the one who is offering the help. You can answer questions. You are the one who creates the examples, tutorials, best practices.

That is a good feeling, being an expert.

And it is such a crock of shit. It is stunningly deceptive.

You let your guard down. You relax. You stop doing research on the subject. Why should you? You know everything. Or, at least enough to be paid very, very well.

The worst part of being an expert, if you aren't a diligent expert?

You stop learning.

You're so busy using the knowledge you have, that you stop learning the new things happening.

Consider the elder doctor. Her way of thinking is what she learned 40 years ago. She might go (likely has to go) to seminars and conferences and updated-techniques education, but the baseline was established 40 years ago when she was younger, in school, and CRAMMING all that knowledge into her head, developing all of her skills. That baseline doesn't include the advances of the last few decades by default.

Do you want someone thinking a lobotomy is the right way to "cure" depression?

You do not.

And, of course, that's an exaggeration, but the concept of a set point, of that moment where learning begins, is not. What you learn first is the hardest part to unlearn. Everything is a change from that moment, not a new concept.

Being an expert is "something fixes your brain in that state," making learning new things more difficult.

Being a non-expert in something is being in this state of discomfort all the time. You don't know how to do the simplest things. You try and you crash, and crash, and crash, and crash. And every time you try, before you crash again, you're a little closer to where you want to be.

The best learning that can be done is to learn how to learn. Understanding what process works for you requires experimentation. Some people learn best sitting in a classroom, having someone else explain concepts to them. Others learn by reading about them. Everyone learns by actually doing what needs to be learned, but even that has nuances. Do you learn by going through a finished example, top to bottom? Or maybe going through a tutorial step by step, learning new things by layering them on the old. Do you try new things? "What happens if I do this?" "No idea, try it." Can you think outside the confines of the lesson to the concept actually being conveyed. Do you play with it, mold it, stretch it, squish it, flatten and ball it up until you understand all the nuances of the idea?

Having been an expert in Drupal for so long, I had forgotten how I learn a new technology. I had forgotten all the techniques that work for me. I sat back on my hard-won knowledge, even as I struggled with the abstraction of an abstraction of an abstraction path Drupal was taking.

And then I went to Shopify. They had faith. They had a way of doing things. I was going to learn.

And I did.

And have been in that perpetual state of learning for the last 14 months, that mental struggle to understand the why along with the how. It was seriously rough going in the beginning. I had forgotten how I learn, how to say "I don't know," and how to say, "I need help." I had forgotten to say, "no," and I had forgotten how to be gentle with myself. I expected to hit the ground running with the speed of a decade of knowledge, and that expectation was terribly incorrect.

A lesson I learned, though, have RElearned, is how to learn. What works for me.

In the last month, I've picked up a number of more frameworks and languages and processes and techniques, and my brain is stuffed and still expanding. I've experimented with technologies I was unsure would fit my needs: some of those experiments failed, some succeeded wildly. All of them were learning experiences. I know 10000 ways not to make a lightbulb now.

I'm sad to say that in the process of being an expert, I had forgotten to be a beginner.

I'm happy to say, I've remembered.

Opal Fire

Book Notes

Okay, at this point, I have no idea if this was a book from Mom or a book I received as a gift. It was on my stack of books to read. It is no longer on my stack, as I have read it.

This is book one of the Stacey Justice series. Stacey has recently returned to her hometown from elsewhere. Her family is a family of witches. Her cousin owns a bar in downtown. She has a dog and a cat. Her dad died when she was younger, her mom disappeared soon after that. And her family believes she is a chosen one.

No pressure.

The book opens with her cousin's bar in flames, Stacey trying to get her dog out of the bar. His collar is stuck on something, preventing him from escaping the burning building. Stacey manages to free the dog with the help of her cop boyfriend, they all escape. The bar burning is considered arson, with the rest of the book a saga on figuring out how the flames were really started, and what the hell, whose bones were discovered in the basement after the fire?

There are a few "not fair" scenes, with people abusing their power, a few close calls, and a run of emotion in the book. Everything turns out okay, the good guys (girls?) win, and a new mystery presents itself at the end of the book.

The book was a quick read. Again, not really my style. Unsure why, because Dresden is my style. This one, not so much. I likely won't continue the series, though the first book was a quick fun read. And yes, that 2am "finished reading" timestamp is accurate.

Storm Damage (Cliff St. James Novels)

Book Notes

Ugh, do you know how much of a pain it is to write a review when you've read two more books since you finished this one? You don't? Okay, here's a suggestion: write the review when you finish the book so that you have it fresh in your head.

This is another one of the books my mom bought and added to my stack. I swear that pile is becoming smaller, but only because I'm stalled on a couple other books, one at least I know I should be focussing on instead of these books in Mom's stack.

This is book one of three (? maybe? I think) currently published about Cliff St. James, an ex-cop turned private investigator in New Orleans after Katrina. He is asked to solve a murder that happened just as the hurricane was about to hit, so all the evidence is pretty much washed away.

In investigating the murder, St. James is beaten up, has a lot of sex (not related to the being beaten up), torched (well, his stuff anyway), and has another couple people die before he solves the mystery. I have no idea just how plausible any of the book would be. I'm pretty sure if I have a large gun pointed at my face, I'm not coming back with wise-cracks. Though, that's likely part of the training / world that happens if you're exposed to it. I prefer not to be exposed to that, but recognize that the fictional world portrayed likely exists.

The book is a modern day, crime mystery, set in New Orleans. It was a fun read. I likely won't continue in the series, as the premise isn't one that captivates me.

Also from Beacon 23

Blog

I call this the Relativistic Weekend Effect. We live in the present, but our happiness relies heavily on the future. Our mood is as much expectation as experience.

At the Mountains of Madness

Book Notes

During

Okay, sure, this is the first HPLovecraft I have ever read, and I had no idea what to expect, but really, a pilot and a geologist stumble into a strange 500 million year old cave with a series of carvings and suddenly know an entire culture's history?

WTF?

Let's just skip the story set up and just go straight to the Old Ones history, instead, shall we?

Right.

After

Okay, having never read Lovecraft, I had no idea what to expect. I enjoyed the history lesson, though seriously doubted one could come up with such an elaborately detailed history by walking through hallways adorned with statues and frescoes for a couple hours. That part was a little absurd. Okay, a lot absurd.

The full text is available online. It's a quick read if you're curious about Lovecraft. Having not read anything else by him, I am unable to compare this to his other works. This one was fine for me.

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